Sunday, October 13, 2013

i miss my baby

i know, i still have a lot of updating to do, but the last three weeks have been hard.  in addition to losing my best friend, i've also been quite ill and had to deal with school and cheerleading.  (on a bright note, LOVE the health care in this country!)

i allowed myself to browse today.  it was painful.  i couldn't stop crying from a combination of things: first of all, it made me miss jordan all the more.  i love him and will never stop loving him.  second, i felt like i was cheating on him - only three weeks gone and i'm already looking for another dog!  what kind of heartless bitch must i be?  but third, and the main reason i was looking, is because of all these dogs and other pets that don't have homes.

i don't want to - and could never - replace jordan.  i got him as a tiny little munchkin, had him his whole life, and he was always there for me when i was happy or sad through some tough years.  he was just like me in every way - stubborn, did what he wanted when he wanted, and had this was to make you feel guilty when he didn't get his way.  i think he would want us to get another dog - another dog to keep my dad occupied, to bring smiles, to greet you when you come home (because let's be real, cats: the difference between dogs and cats), and to carry on his legacy.

i found a black lab straight away that i fell in love with and i can't explain.  i tried hard to not get attached - and am still trying - because maybe she is already adopted or maybe we would not be a good fit for her or maybe my parents won't let me get her.  my mother is printing off her picture to guilt my father.  perfect heather/jordan method to get what we want.  we shall see.

i described her as an early christmas present.

jordan, doing what he wanted and not caring that my parents did not want him in the bushes.